"When I got out of politics I still wanted to be able to boss people around. So, I became a group fitness instructor at Crunch. It’s like being mayor of Sweatpantsville."
-Scott Peterson, Group Fitness Instructor
"I’ve always felt like you should be able to share a few hearty laughs at work. But my clients never saw it that way. That’s why I got out of psychotherapy. At Crunch I laugh all day long."
- Brian Russo, Group Fitness Instructor
"Being a trainer at Crunch is way better than my old job as a stockbroker. Why? Because, at Crunch I get to help people. And, if I help enough people, odds are I will go to heaven. And, if I go to heaven I’m going to live in a mansion made of candy."
- Brandy French, Personal Trainer
"If I had to sum up Crunch gyms in one word it would be ‘coolmazing’. That is a word that I made up by the way. (At Crunch, they let you make up your own words. Not like at that stupid newspaper I wrote for.)"
-Reanna Zengou, General Manager
"My old boss would say that it’s not the steak, it’s the sizzle. Well, Mr. Smarty Pants sales supervisor, have you ever tried to eat sizzle? It’s impossible. As a Crunch membership advisor, I don’t sell sizzle or steak. Just gym memberships."
-Adam Cane, Membership Advisor
"What we do at Crunch is try to change people’s lives for the better. Which from a business standpoint is way a smarter than, say, trying to change people’s lives for the worse. If I wanted to do that I’d still be at the IRS."
-Ed Lalanne, Membership Advisor
"What excites me about being a trainer at Crunch is that it’s not just another dead-end job like, say, working in a cul-de-sac was."
-Kenny Unser, Personal Trainer
"At my old job, I was the office whipping boy. That doesn’t mean they’d make fun of me. They would actually beat me."
-Mark McCormick, Membership Advisory
"I worked at the same law firm for 16 years. So long, that I actually became dusty. Now that I work at Crunch, I’m dust-free and proud."
-Emily Baggen, Group Fitness Instructor
"My astronaut job was ok. But you can only live in a space station for so long. Then it starts to suck."
-Tobye Whitman, Personal Trainer